A killer is on the loose, attacking people in places they feel most safe: their workplaces, their homes. It’s up to DS Grace Allendale to stop the murders, and prove herself to her new team.

All clues lead to local crime family the Steeles, but that’s where things get complicated. Because the Steeles aren’t just any family, they’re Grace’s family. Two brothers and two sisters, connected by the violent father only Grace and her mother escaped.

To catch the killer, Grace will have to choose between her team and her blood. But who do you trust, when both sides are out to get you?

An unforgettable thriller that fans of MARTINA COLE and won’t be able to put down.​

Grace wiped her sweaty palms discreetly on her trousers as Nick nudged the car up on to the pavement to park outside the crime scene. Situated on Leek Road, two miles from the city centre, Steele’s Gym stood back from the road in a prime position. Once housing a pre-school nursery, it was a single-storey building spread on an acre of land, with a car park to its right. According to Sam, the local authority register for business rates stated that Eddie Steele had been renting it since 2006. A large canvas banner hung on the wrought-iron railings at her side. ‘No pain, no gain. All-in monthly passes only £40.’ She doubted that would tempt anyone in today. They’d be more interested in what was going on outside in the car park.
‘Good to go?’ Nick asked her.
Grace looked back, unaware he had been watching her as she stared out of the window. ‘I’m not sure I will ever be ready for this.’
‘Just keep your calm. If they say anything, I’ll handle it accordingly.’
She released her seatbelt and got out of the car, joining DC Perry Wright who had parked in front of them. Grace had warmed to Sam but not so much to Perry. He had turned forty the year before; she’d learned he had been married to his wife, Lisa, for thirteen years and recently become a father to Alfie, who was three months old. Just like Nick, his blond hair was shaven close to his head to hide his receding hairline. Allie Shenton said he’d either be nice from the get-go as he was that type of person, or be aloof – not only because he’d known and worked with Allie for such a long time, but because he’d put in for the job of detective sergeant and Grace had beaten him to it.
Even though it was still early in the morning, sweat clung to her back. Despite her anxieties, it was too warm to be wearing the jacket to her trouser suit, but she didn’t feel dressed without it, especially meeting new people. First appearances still counted in her eyes.
Across the main road, a crowd was already gathering in front of a row of terraced properties. As traffic zoomed by, three dogs sat patiently at their owners’ feet, their morning outings either interrupted or lengthened. Two residents stood in their doorways holding mugs, chatting to themselves. Grace could almost hear them saying, ‘Things like this don’t happen on our doorstep.’ It was the one thing she heard all the time, as if no one was allowed to bring ill repute to their part of the neighbourhood.

​Boulder is back.
Jake Boulder is working as a bartender, at an exclusive Vermont ski resort on New Year’s Eve, when armed terrorists hold up the lodge and take the guests hostage.

Trapped with the other hostages, Boulder watches in horror as the female terrorist leader disfigures a singer to make her point. He wants to fight back, but is unarmed and being held at gunpoint.

When Boulder finds a way to escape from the terrorists he searches for a way to raise the alarm. After he discovers the terrorists plan to leave no witnesses to their crime, he knows has a race against time to save as many innocent people as he can…

But will Boulder be the reluctant hero and save the day?

My thoughts.

I was super lucky to receive an ARC of this book. I love the Jake Boulder series and really couldn't wait to get started with this one.  I can't believe this is book 4, of what has been an epic journey. I have loved each and everyone of these books, and this on is no exception. 
​
As usual Boulder is in the centre of trouble. Not his doing I might add, he just seems to certainly be in wrong places at the wrong time. Only there is no way of him getting out of this wrong place, as he's at an exclusive Vermont ski resort on New Year’s Eve,  in the middle of a snow storm, where only the rich can afford to stay. A Private getaway or so it seemed. That is until terrorist take over, and Boulder is now trapped along with the other hostages. 
Clearly this being Boulder you just know he's not going to sit back and let these monsters do as they please, he's got to wait for a perfect opportunity to fight back. And he certainly does fight back. 

What then happens is a roller coaster of a read, I found myself more than once holding my breath, trying not to breath and interrupt what was happening.  My heart was pounding. This book felt so real you could almost be shivering in the storm. If this book had been a film I think I'd have been hiding behind a cushion throughout. 
A High octane , fast paced, edge of your seat battle. I was totally lost in this book, and I can't find a way of saying what I thought, without giving to much of the story away. I wouldn't like to spoil it for anyone, but what I can say is what a damn treat you are in for. 
I just love the character that is Jake Boulder, he's lost and wanted to get away, blend into the background and figure out life, that's just never going to happen for him. 
Graham Smith, I am again more than just a little impressed with your writing skills. 

Graham Smith is a time served joiner who has built bridges, houses, dug drains and slated roofs to make ends meet. Since Christmas 2000, he has been manager of a busy hotel and wedding venue near Gretna Green, Scotland.
He is an internationally best-selling Kindle author and has six books featuring DI Harry Evans and the Cumbrian Major Crimes Team, and four novels, featuring Utah doorman, Jake Boulder.
An avid fan of crime fiction since being given one of Enid Blyton’s Famous Five books at the age of eight, he has also been a regular reviewer and interviewer for the well-respected website Crimesquad.com since 2009
Graham is the founder of Crime and Publishment, a weekend of crime-writing classes which includes the chance for attendees to pitch their novels to agents and publishers. Since the first weekend in 2013, ten attendees have gone on to sign publishing contracts.
Graham can be found at:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grahamnsmithauthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/GrahamSmith1972
Website: www.grahamsmithauthor.com

​Kerry Barnes is back with an explosive new series!

‘A shocking, gripping read’ Dreda Say Mitchell

Having spent her life watching her father run his East London firm, Zara Ezra has learnt a thing or two about being a gangster, and she’s ready to take over when the time comes.
Mike Regan, a blast from Zara’s past, is the head of his own firm, but when his son is kidnapped in the middle of a gangland feud, Mike has no choice but to accept help from the Ezras to get his little boy back alive.
With a rival firm playing increasingly dirty, murder moves to the top of the agenda and Zara has some big choices to make. It seems that the only way to come out on top is to play them at their own game…
But will she become The Hunter or The Hunted?
A gripping gangland crime thriller, perfect for fans of Martina Cole and Kimberley Chambers.

If you haven't read a book by Kerry Barnes then you really don't know what you are missing. Curled up over the bonfire weekend, fire roaring and a hot drink in hand, I didn't know what was more explosive, the books or the fireworks outside. It felt like the perfect time to be reading this explosive book. 
I don't know where to start, this book has it all Deceit, corruption, murder, feuds, rivalry, violence. It's a first class page turner. If you're a lover of a good gangland thriller, then you really are in for a treat. 

​The first book in a new series, I believe The Rules should be available in Feb 2019 followed by The Choice in May 2019.
​Both available to pre order now. 

This book gallops along at an amazing pace. Dragging you right into the story. At times I could feel I was there, I was so engrossed in it. There are, as you would expect some fantastic characters, and I believe like me there will some characters you love, and some you'll hate. Kerry has certainly worked her magic and has managed to bring these characters to life. 
I particularly liked Mike Regan, his bad boy, villain character, with a hidden softer side was a fave. Mike's world comes crashing down when his Son Ricky is Kidnapped. Having believed he was protecting his son, he sent his wife away with him thinking they would be safe.  Mike enlists the help of Zara, a woman he has a past with, to help find his son.  Zara Ezra is the new Woman about town. Having taken over her fathers firm, she has a lot to prove. It's certainly not going to be easy for Zara proving she can cut the mustard in what is believed to be a 'mans world. But Zara certainly isn't a weak and feeble woman, she's a woman with an agenda. A woman with a mind of her own, and power to back it.  Or is she?
I can see this becoming one EPIC series of books. 
They say time flies by, but it doesn't, it drags like hell when you are waiting for the next book... I'm not sat here drumming my fingers and singing 'why are we waiting'... honest I'm not. lol

Kerry Barnes is certainly making a name for herself in this genre, she's way up there with the best. I'm relatively new to Kerry's books but I can safely say I haven't been disappointed with one yet. They really do get belter and better with each book. When I first read - Cruel Secrets, I really didn't believe not only Kerry, but anyone could top that book. Having read this one, I know I was wrong. Kerry has smashed it, Big time.  First class story telling. If you are new to Kerry's books then OMG how awesome as you will get to read them back to back, WOW how exciting is that. 
​

​Description

​Jo Atkins’ sixteenth year was disastrous: she lost her dad, was assaulted by a stranger, and then had her heart broken. For the last twenty-five years, she’s believed that nothing could ever be as bad again.
She was wrong.
Now, still smarting from her recent divorce, pretty, self-effacing Jo finally gathers the courage to enter the dating scene. She meets Claudio, whom she vaguely remembers from her youth, but after a few dates decides he’s creepy and politely tells him ‘thanks but no thanks’.
But Claudio has no intention of letting her go.
Instead of never seeing him again, Jo wakes up sick and terrified, handcuffed to her own bed. She is given a week to prove her love for Claudio—or he will kill her.
Claudio, it turns out, is a man with nothing left to lose.
The Venus Trap tackles the emotional impact of divorce, the perils of modern dating and the age-old powers of lust and obsession.

This is one of those books I've been meaning to start, in like, forever. I seem to have had this on my kindle and it's gotten lost in the never ending list of books I want to read. So while being on 48 hour complete rest, and not being able to walk, I thought I'd do myself a favour and start some of the books I've had on my  kindle the longest. 

I'm so glad I chose this one, Wowzers,,, what a read it turned out to be. I was a little unsure of the story line as I got started, and couldn't for the life of me figure where it was going. 
​But i'm glad I stuck with it as it turned into a real interesting read. Good story line, and believable characters. Some you will like and others you certainly wont. 
​

Starlight on the Palace Pier
 
Get swept away with Tracy Corbett and spend your holidays on the Brighton pier
 
After an injury derails her dream of becoming a professional dancer, Becca Roberts heads home to Brighton in search of a fresh start.

And, when a part-time dance teacher role becomes available at The Starlight Playhouse, it seems like her stars are finally aligning. The crumbling old playhouse might need a bit of tender loving care (and a lick of paint!), but Becca is more than up to the challenge.

That is until Becca’s first love (and first heartbreak), Tom, waltzes into the Starlight Playhouse, and she realises life by the sea might not be as simple as she thought…

Fall in love on Palace Pier in this feel-good romantic comedy, perfect for fans of Debbie Johnson and Jill Mansell.
 ​

​Part of her had wanted to question why they allowed their children to behave in such a rowdy manner, but she’d held her tongue. She suspected teaching was like the world of show business, where everyone knew everyone. If word got out that she had a bad attitude, then it would be game over.
But it’d been tough. She’d never struggled to be civil before. But then she’d never been faced with a horde of competitive parents, who did nothing but criticise her appearance, her lack of control, or her ability to teach.
The distressing thing was, they were right. She was a useless teacher.
The only chink of light had come at the end of the class when one of the mothers had thanked her for helping her kids understand the meaning of ‘turnout’, something they’d struggled with under Mrs Morris. She’d introduced herself as Rosie and promised to return next week. She’d even left smiling, seemingly oblivious to just how disastrous the class had been.
Despite all this, Carolyn had still offered Becca the job. She wasn’t naive enough to believe this was because she’d impressed Carolyn. Far from it. Carolyn hadn’t even witnessed the debacle – she’d still been asleep in the office – which meant the offer was based purely on Carolyn’s desperation to find a replacement teacher, and not on Becca’s ability. It wasn’t exactly a glowing endorsement. And now Becca had to do it all again. This time with the adult tappers.
While she waited for the class to arrive, she took the opportunity to stretch out her hamstrings. Flexibility was the key to any style of dance. Stiff joints and tight tendons didn’t allow for freedom of movement.
She went over to the barre and began her routine, using the time to have a proper look around. She’d been so busy on Saturday trying to control the kids that she hadn’t paid much attention to the state of the dance studio. On first glance, it looked fine. It was a decent-sized space, with a wooden sprung floor, a mirrored wall, and a ballet barre running the length of the room. But on closer inspection, she could see damp patches on the walls, cracks in the plasterboard and chunks missing from the floorboards. It looked tired and scruffy, like the rest of the building.
She was mid-stretch when the doors behind opened. A couple entered, both very tall and model-thin skinny. They wore matching woollen coats and hats, despite the mild weather. They ignored Becca and shuffled over to the furthest seats, as if trying to hide.
She went over. ‘Hi, I’m Becca. I’ve taken over from Mrs Morris.’
They acknowledged her with shy nods, but didn’t hold eye contact.
Becca tried for a welcoming smile. ‘And you are?’
They looked at each other, as if silently questioning who was going to answer.
Eventually, the guy spoke. ‘I’m Nick. This is my wife, Cassie.’
‘Lovely to meet you both. Have you been coming to the class long?’
They shook their heads. ‘First time,’ the man replied.
Thank God for that. She figured it would be easier if people had nothing to compare her with. ‘Welcome to the class. Do you have tap shoes?’

​Eeeny meeny, miney, moe. Who lives, who dies only I know.

When the body of a doctor is discovered brutally murdered in local woodland, Detective Kim Stone is shocked to discover the victim is Gordon Cordell – a man linked to a previous case she worked on involving the death of a young school girl. Gordon has a chequered past, but who would want him dead?

As the investigation gets underway, Gordon’s son is involved in a horrific car crash which leaves him fighting for his life. Kim's sure this was no accident.

Then the body of a woman is found dead in suspicious circumstances and Kim makes a disturbing link between the victims and Russells Hall Hospital. The same hospital where Gordon worked.

With Kim and her team still grieving the loss of one of their own, they’re at their weakest and facing one of the most dangerous serial killers they’ve ever encountered. Everything is on the line. Can Kim keep her squad together and find the killer before he claims his next victim?

The killer is picking off his victims at a terrifying pace, and he’s not finished yet.

From multi-million copy number one bestseller Angela Marsons comes another absolutely nail-biting, edge-of-your-seat crime thriller.

Can you actually believe that we are here at Kim Stone book 9. Now before I waffle on about what I thought of this book, I need to tell you I am a huge fan of this series, and I believe if you decide to read these books they really are best if read in order. 
Silent Scream
Evil Games
Lost Girls
Play Dead
Blood Lines
Dead Souls
Broken Bones
Dying Truth ​

Now for me this is an easy 5 star read. Kim is back in action, she might have a bit of a dodgy leg, which is still healing from injuries after what happened in the last book, and she's been advised to take things easy, which is not something Kim understands, she never has. Also missing a team member which is not only having an impact on Kim but the others around her also. 
Faced with investigating the Death of a Doctor, one that Kim and her team certainly know, it's now time to put herself and her team into work mode. Her team have a new member, DC Penn. It's time to figure out if this new team can cut it, if they can learn to work together and be the best the force needs. 
I think the character of Kim Stone has been amazing through the last 8 books and felt we were really getting to know her, however in this instalment I found I was learning a hell of a lot more about her through her counselling sessions with Ted. You really do begin to believe that Kim Stone is someone you know on a personal level. As much as I love her, there are times when I could happily tell her That she's out  of order. That said I wouldn't change here at all. 
There are and have been some amazing characters through this series, and some we love, some we hate, which if an author manages to engage a reader so much that they actually have real opinions on the characters then that is certainly a job well done. Angie certainly knows how to draw in the reader. 
There is so much I want to say about this story that I know I would end up giving to much away. I think the sales and reviews for these books speak for themselves. If you love a damn good crime series that is one of the best out there, then this is the series for you. Anyone who has read the previous books will have had this one pre order, will have been counting down the days until this book was released. They will then devour it in probably a matter of hours, and wish that they had taken there time, because then you have to wait for the next one. 
This book is certainly an amazing roller coaster of  a ride, Angie Marsons is managing somehow to just blow each book out the water, for me personally I think each one tops the last one, and at the end of each one, I've said to myself 'no way can this one be beat' and each time I'm loving the fact, I'm proved wrong. I know I've said it before, but Angie I don't know how you do it, but please keep doing it. Us readers need Kim Stone in our lives. This is one of those books that you really need to clear your diary for. Get comfortable and get stuck in, but make sure you have no other plans, because this book will take over. 

What an interesting read this turned out to be.
I really don't know what I was expecting from this book, it feels so different from the last book I read by Mr Edwards, but just as darn good. 
This is one of those books that really does make you think, it tests your beliefs, and leaves you thinking about it long after you have finished reading it. 
Don't read this book late at night, lol. 
For 4 years Jessica has known her sisters death was a terrible accident. Jessica was very close to her beloved sister and misses her terribly. Although Jessica has believed it was an accident, her mother certainly hasn't believed it. Her mother has always believed there was a lot more to her death.
When Jessica's young daughter starts talking about her dead aunt, Jessica starts to think, how can her young daughter know things from Isabel's past? It really creeps Jessica out, there is no way her young daughter should or can know the things she knows. Jessica really does start to think that, just maybe there was more to Isabel's death than she first thought. Is Isabel trying to talk to Jessica through her daughter?
Creepy, spooky it's everything you want from a great read. This book really does make you think about the afterlife, Ghosts, do they really exist? If you are a believer or not, this book really gives you something to think about. It's the ability to get you thinking about such things that adds to this book being creepy, the fact it makes you think so much.
​I don't know any words that is going to do this book the justice it deserves. A first class thrilling read. I can highly recommend this book. It would be a great book for a book club as there are so many things you sit and discuss about the book, it would be a great conversation starter. 

Description
​
​Marianne has a life others dream of. A beautiful townhouse on the best street in the neighbourhood. Three bright children who are her pride and joy.

Sometimes her past still hurts: losing her mother early, growing up in foster care. But her husband, Simon, is always there. A successful surgeon, he’s the envy of every woman they’ve ever met. Flowers, gifts, trips to France: nothing is too good for his family.

Then Simon says another woman’s name. The way he lingers on it, Caroline, gives Marianne a shudder of suspicion, but she knows it’s nothing – she can’t entertain this flash of paranoia.

In the old days, she’d have distracted herself by excelling at work, but Marianne left her glamorous career when she married. She’d speak to a friend, but she’s too busy with her children and besides, Simon doesn’t approve of the few she has left.

It’s almost by accident that Marianne starts to learn more about Caroline. But once started, she can’t stop, because what she finds makes her wonder: is the question she should be asking not ‘should she be jealous’, but... ‘should she be scared?’

Fans of The Girl on the Train and I Let You Go, who are looking for a dark, gripping psychological thriller with a final twist to put their jaw on the floor, will love Our Little Lies.

Well, well, this is certainly a change of direction for Sue Watson. I have loved and read all Sue's other books, and was a little surprised, but also a little excited when I heard she was coming over to the dark side.  Our Little Lies is is her first psychological thriller and what a thriller it is. 
It seems Marianne has it all, the good looking, successful husband, who just wants the best for his wife and children. Beautiful children. The house everyone dreams of. So just what is wrong with Marianne's life?.
Well I think it's easy to say, when you start the book, it certainly seems she has a hell of a lot of insecurities. Partly down to her upbringing, losing her mother early in life then being brought up in foster care are some of the reasons of her insecurities, but adding to this is the state she has gotten herself in when hearing her husband mention another woman's name.

'What?' He feigns vagueness. 'Oh, Caroline Harker?' There it is again, the roll of the 'r', the sigh of the 'ine'. 
​
Is this simple sentence going to tip Marianne over the edge. 


This all just makes you think you know just exactly what direction the book is going to take, but let me tell you, you don't. This is brilliantly, expertly written to throw you. To take you on a ride you just wasn't expecting. 
As the story unfolds, learning about Marianne's past, and how different it is to her life today. Or how different it looks to her life today, was fascinating. 
I think this book will clearly have you either loving or hating characters, It will have you questioning what is going on, and who you actually believe in. Sue has certainly done an amazing job of getting the reader, stirring up feelings for the characters. I certainly wasn't over keen on Simon. 
This book is tense, full of manipulation, lies, jealousy. It's full of the things you want from a totally gripping page turner. I think Sue has done a fantastic job here, and I'm looking forward to see what she writes next. Will we have more of this or back to the chic lit, either way I will certainly be reading whatever Sue writes. 


 
 

​About the author: 

Sue Watson was a journalist then TV Producer at the BBC until she wrote her first book and was hooked. 

She's now written thirteen novels - many involving cake - and her books have been translated into Italian, German and Portuguese. Originally from Manchester, Sue now lives with her husband and teenage daughter in Worcestershire where much of her day is spent procrastinating while eating cake (for research purposes), and watching 'My 600lb Life,' on the sofa.

Sue explored the darker side of life for her latest book 'Our Little Lies,' a dark, psychological thriller completely devoid of cake. She's hoping this change in direction will be reflected on the weighing scales.

For more info visit Sue's website; http://www.suewatsonbooks.com/

Sue would love to meet you on FaceBook at https://www.facebook.com/suewatsonbooks

Follow Sue on Twitter @suewatsonwriter

​Charley Willis was thirteen years old when her parents were killed in their family home and she was found hiding in a cupboard upstairs.

Fifteen years later, Charley is marrying Seth Chambers. It should be the happiest day of their lives, a chance for Charley to put her past behind her, but just hours after the ceremony, she is missing.

No one saw her leave. No one knows where she is.

One thing is for certain…Seth is about to discover he doesn’t really know the woman he just married. And his nightmare is only just beginning.

A totally gripping psychological thriller that will keep you reading until the very last jaw-dropping twist.

OHHHHHH I just love a Kerry Wilkinson book.. Wilkinson is one of my all time favourite authors. I love his writing style. I particularly love his Jessica Daniel Series.  This one isn't part of any series, this one is a standalone and what a bloody good read it is. 
I love a good wedding, and it seems that Charlie and Seth have had there beautiful day, they have said their vows and are now husband and wife, how perfect.
Well it's not perfect, as just hours after the wedding service Charlie goes missing from the reception party. No one noticed her leaving, no one saw anything odd, so where is she? What the hell has happened to her?
This book flicks back from Then to Now, the life Charlie had before she met Seth. The up evils in her life, what she witnessed and went through as a child.
The thing is, Seth is about to discover he really doesn't know the person he has just married. Is he going to love and cherish his new bride. 
Find out what happened in Charlies life by reading this captivating book. 

This book really is one of those page turners. A book that has you gripped. It's one of those books that as much as you try to figure things out, you just have no damn clue which way it is going. Brilliantly, cleverly written. This author certainly has a superb mind and a knack for putting it all onto those pages. First class, but I really didn't expect anything else from this author.   
​I just wish I had the correct wording to say how much I enjoyed this book. 

Author Bio:
Kerry Wilkinson has had No.1 bestsellers in the UK, Canada, South Africa and Singapore, as well as top-five books in Australia. He has also written two top-20 thrillers in the United States.

As well as his million-selling Jessica Daniel series, Kerry has written the Silver Blackthorn trilogy - a fantasy-adventure serial for young adults - a second crime series featuring private investigator Andrew Hunter, plus numerous standalone novels. He has been published around the world in more than a dozen languages.

Originally from the county of Somerset, Kerry has spent far too long living in the north of England, picking up words like 'barm' and 'ginnel'.

When he's short of ideas, he rides his bike or bakes cakes. When he's not, he writes it all down.
Author Social Media Links:
http://kerrywilkinson.com
http://facebook.com/KerryWilkinsonBooks
 ​

Extract
​And  the  Number  One  Answer  Is...


In  a  recent  survey,  100  people  were  asked  to  list  the  things  that  irritate  them  most,  and  the  winner  was...
  stupid  bloody  surveys  that  ask  people  to  list  things.
Have  scientists,  the  government  and  women's  magazines  got  nothing  better  to  do with  their  time  than  ask  inane  questions?  Isn't  there  an  ozone  layer  that  needs patching  up?  Don't  hospitals  need  some  attention?  Schools  needing  new  books? 
Well,  maybe,  but  first  well  just  run  off  a  potentially  world-changing  questionnaire asking  3,000  people  what  biscuit  they  like  to  dunk  in  their  tea. 
Now,  usually  I  avoid  surveys  as  I  would,  say,  the  bubonic  plague  or  boob  tubes, but  this  week  there  was  one  poll  that  genuinely  intrigued  and  excited  me.  No,  it  wasn't  the  results  of  the  survey  that  revealed  that  one  in  five  blokes  fake  their orgasms  (eh,  I  have  questions)  and  that  fifty-eight  per  cent  of  women  do  a  Meg  Ryan  Special  at  the  crucial  moment.  Nor  was  I  particularly  interested  in  the  result  of  another  poll  that  concluded  Britons  spend  an  average  of  £169,000  during  their  lives  on  job  costs  like  travel  and lunches.  Unless,  of  course,  you're  an  MP,  in  which  case  you  claim  double  that  back. 
I  was  even  less  impressed  with  the  research  done  by  a  team  at  the  University  of St  Andrews  that  revealed  that  women  are  just  as  grateful  for  cheap  trinkets  as  they are  for  expensive  diamonds,  just  as  long  as  the  gift  is  given  with  thought  and  love. 
Fab.  Now  as  long  as  the  love  of  your  life  dons  a  lopsided  grin  and  recites  a  poem,  he  can  palm  you  off  with  a  genuine  tin-plated,  diamante love-heart  ring  from  the Everything-For-A-Pound  shop. 
The  study  that  did  tweak  my  radar,  however,  was  the  survey  25,000  seven-  to eleven-year-olds  that  found  more  than  half  reckoned  their  mums  could  do  anything. Yes,  us  marvellous  matriarchs  beat  off  stiff  competition  in  the  superhero  stakes  from  icons  like  Superman,  Spiderman  and  whoever  invented  Play-Doh.
In  second  place  came  fathers,  their  popularity  increased no  doubt  by  the  young boys  who  took  part  in  the  survey  and  were  impressed  by  dad's  ability  to  multitask. 
My  dearly  beloved  has  an  admirable  ability  to  listen  to  me  talking  while multaneously  rolling  his  eyeballs  to  heaven.  And  in  third  place  came  Harry  Potter,  that  wee  smug  bloke  who,  unlike  us  mums,  has  to  enlist  the  help  of  a  wooden  stick  and  a  brainy  (female)  sidekick  to  conquer  the impossible. 
At  two  and  three-quarters  and  four,  my  boys  are  below  the  age  threshold  for  the survey,  but  I  decided  to  boost  my  ever-flailing  ego  by  checking  that  they concurred  with  the  results.
Boys,  do  you  think  Mummy  can  do  anything  in  the  whole  wide  world?  I  asked  with  my  sweetest,  most  grovelling  grin.  And,  okay,  I'll  admit  that  the  two  packets  of  chocolate  buttons  I  was  dangling  from  each  hand  might  have  swayed  them  just slightly.  Still,  they  looked  at  each  other  hesitantly,  in  the  manner  of  crime  suspects  who  feared  they  were  being  lured  into  a  trap  by  a  master  interrogator.  After checking  the  escape  routes  and  realising  they  were  cornered,  they  nodded  tentatively. 
I  should  have  stopped  there,  but  come  on...  I'm  a  mother  who  doesn't  get  out  much,  I'm  permanently  knackered  and  dishevelled  and  I  haven't  had  a  cigarette  now  for  nearly  three  weeks  I'm  a  real-life  desperate  housewife  who'll  clutch  at  any straw  going  for  validation  and  appreciation. So  what  special  things  can  I  do  then?  I  cajoled,  still  piling  on  the  saccharine  with  a  fork-lift. Give  magic  kisses,  interjected  Brad  (almost  three),  referring  to  the  cure  for  all  ailments  short  of  contagious  diseases  or  anything  relating  to  the  bottom.
That's  right,  sweetheart...  and  what  else? You  can  sing  when  you're  upside  down,  Cal  (four)  exclaimed,  his  eyes  never  straying  from  the  Buttons.  Yeah,  Madonna  eat  your  heart  out.  You  might  be  bendy  but  I  can  belt  out  a  catchy  tune  when  I'm  standing  on  my  head.  Although  there  is  usually  a  bottle  or  two  of  full-strength  Lambrusco  involved  in  the  preparation  of  that  particular  death-defying  feat.  And  you  can  make  the  bell  ring  when  dinner's  ready. And  that,  I  fear,  is  the  reason  us  mums  came  out  on  top.  Our  tiny  offspring  still  have  the  naiveté  of  youth  and  the  unconditional  love  for  their  mothers  that  convinces  them  that  the  eardrum-shattering  racket  produced  by  the  dangerous  combination  of  a  woman  who  cant  cook,  a  tray  of  chicken  dinosaurs,  an  oven  and  a  smoke  alarm  is  a  little  piece  of  magic.  Harry  Potter,  eat  your  heart  out.